The Great Gerbil Roundup

by Stephen Manes

Why are thousands of wild-eyed tourists running through the streets of Gerbil, Pennsylvania, twirling miniature lariats? Why are swarms of desperate gerbils desperately scampering out of their way? Why does the town’s fate now depend on two kids named Elton Wazoo and McBeth McBeth? And how does this all involve Rory Rallickson’s Rhinoceros Ranch? It all began when the sleepy town of Gerbil decided to put itself on the map. The amazing First National Drive-Thru Museum of American Sightseeing and Clean Rest Rooms let anyone experience an entire vacation in ten minutes—without even leaving the car! But some citizens insisted that wasn’t enough. The town needed something even more spectacular to lure more tourists and more dollars. That’s when the mayor announced the Great Gerbil Roundup. People flooded into Gerbil from every direction. Then the worst fears of gerbils and Gerbilites became reality—for a Fourth of July the town, and you, will never forget. As for the rhinoceros ranch—well,