Long time leaving

by Roy Blount Jr

"I left the South in search of the Enlightenment. I'm pro-choice, in favor of gay marriage, and against creationism and the war in Iraq. But both my parents' people are deep Southern from many generations, and I spent a little over a third of my life, including the presumably most formative years (toilet training through college), living in the South. Mathematically, that makes me just about exactly as Southern as the American people, 34 percent of whom are Southern residents. But it goes deeper than math--my roots are Southern, I sound Southern, I love a lot of Southern stuff, and when my [Northern] local paper announces a festival to 'celebrate the spirit of differently abled dogs,' I react as a Southerner. I believe I care as much about dogs' feelings as anybody. It is hard for me to imagine that a dog with three legs minds being called a three-legged dog."A sly, dry, hilarious collection of essays--his first in more than ten years--from the writer who, according to The New York Tim